The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
I was dressed in monkey onesie serving people vodka jelly with a spoon...
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize
