Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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