I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
So red wine goes with eggs, right? Because that's all I have in the house to cook and the drinking options are either wine or scotch
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
Randomize