Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
