The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
just puked a little into my hand/sleeve. way too hungover for the first day of class
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
I need a beard to bite.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
Randomize
