Old men and throwing up are my life now.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
Randomize
