He fucking owes me dinner after I gave him head under the deck behind the bar.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Randomize
