I can tuck mytits in my pants
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Randomize
