So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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i forgot what you looked like. so we left to get pizza. sorry
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
He crawled in my bed this morning, ate me out, and even brought me a panera deli sammie for lunch at school. I don't care what he lied about, all is forgiven him.
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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