The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
I just found him singing into an empty paper towel roll while microwaving an empty ice cream carton. I'm gonna run away now.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
There are way too many people I have fucked in this class for this not to be awkward
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Randomize
