Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
there is glitter all over my balls
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
Randomize
