I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
He's either jacking off or listening to Kanye West.
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
I was stalking his twitter and saw that he used punctuation in a hashtag. Thank god we didn't work out because I can't be with someone that incompetent
& I just realized there is no vomit smiley. There needs to be a vomit smiley
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
