My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
He's reached the drunk point where he's trying to convince the family to buy falcons as pets. Can't wait to see how my steak turns out
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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