I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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