he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
