Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
Randomize
