just drove past a church sign that said "jesus got 'er done" ... welcome to the south
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
So they just told me that while I was being loaded into the ambulance the cop told them if they were good friends they'd post it on Facebook...
The subtweets were good enough
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
