what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
The shower rod just came down while I was pooping. I caught it though and the curtain stayed on, so I'm not sure if it's a good or bad omen for the rest of my day
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