You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Randomize
