ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
Operation Purity has been aborted
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Guess whose mug shot is NOT on the Internet anymore?!?!
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
I threw up in the shower, slipped, and fell in it. Should I try and continue my day or just get back in bed?
I also was calling every child by their name "Birthcontrol" - straight people are fun
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
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