he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
You grinded on me in Jimmy johns to a madonna song.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
