even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Some dudes just stopped and stared at me peeing in the street for like 5mins, and I yelled HEY. HEY. WANT ME TO SHIT IN YOUR MOUTH? I'LL SHIT ON YOUR CHEST FOR FIVE DOLLARS, PAPI
this is why i love drunk you
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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