Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
Drunkenly, I gave him a molly instead of an aleve so A) I'm still looking for him and B) I'm not sure about his headache.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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