I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
