you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
yeah he didnt know till after their one year. You have no idea how bad i wanna say "dude i sucked on those boobs before you"
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
Last night you referred to my vagina as a gym for your penis
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I would cock slap so many things if I had a cock.
Randomize
