I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
