My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
i made the cop pinkie-promise not to arrest me if i failed the breathalizer.
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
We discussed how many times we've passed out during sex. The answers may shock you.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I have a few Facebook friends I only keep around for quality control purposes on Tinder
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