just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
I left the party 20 min ago..just thought i would tell you so you wouldnt think i fell in the lake again
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