i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
sooo my mom just yelled up the stairs " you left your bowl down by the computer"....aaand for a second I forgot cereal bowls still existed
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
Randomize
