Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
Well after last night it's official...I cannot die...it time to use this power for good instead of handle contests
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
When someone's woman crush wednesday is an ultrasound of her unborn daughter...
I can't
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
