whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
Bored of what? I stayed up all night researching sex toys because I'm excited to do things with you that I haven't done in 29 years of having a body.
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
