My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Found the puke drawer
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Seriously? You DON'T remember putting all those Swedish fish in the waffle iron b/c you wanted "One big Swedish fish?" That waffle iron was a wedding gift.
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I know, my friend Erin took me into the bathroom at work and poured pickle juice on me.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
Randomize
