Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she peed on how many people?
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize