K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
It's an interesting experience to pee while a bird meows at you.
You need to get out of the house more
Randomize
