I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
I would ask why there is a chair tied to the door of the fridge.. but I am not sure anyone knows the answer.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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