I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
Apparently I yelled "no stop it" in my sleep last night when he tried to cuddle with me.
Oops, guess its official. I just use him for sex.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
