garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Randomize
