She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I tried to have sex on someone's sisters horse last night
Rage-masturbating and then crying myself to sleep. Welcome to Wednesday.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Randomize
