there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
She's gone now. Left with the wind like a majestic leaf that just rides the invisible current to locations unknown. And dude, her friends were really hot.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
you bit my nipple really hard and then looked at me and said 'i feel responsible for the state of your nipples'
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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