Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
Randomize
