3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
I'm drunk in class and I'm pretty sure the bible freak behind me is saying a prayer for me
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
Apparently my downstairs neighbors don't much appreciate it when I do drunk aerobics at 3am on a Wednesday...
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
I think you're too young for vagina rejuvenation but I guess you have never been one to listen. Sounds good! You bring the Percocet ill bring the vodka!
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
