the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
we found you outside the hotel room sleeping with a note next to you that said " we made sure you were comfortable, hope your friends come back soon"
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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