3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
The stripper told Tom to sort his life out
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
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