The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
