he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Fun fact: the guy I banged last night. His middle name on his birth certificate is "Windstorm."
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
