No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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