the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
My nose was gushing blood and he just kept screaming "she took it like a champ" to everyone there. Plus side though, bartender felt bad for me and gave me a free drink.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
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