I am I'm going to have heart failure he's peed on my life.
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Randomize
