Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the fact that i fell through a skylight is the least humiliating part of the night
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Hey
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GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
