I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
